Fulfilling Desire and Creating Destiny: By Kirsty Greenshields


An ancient Ayurvedic text, the Upanishads, states:

“As is your desire, so is your will, 
As is your will, so are your deeds
As are your deeds, so is your destiny
Your desires can become your destiny”


Have you ever thrown yourself in to something, given it all you have, only to find after a period of time that you are feeling exhausted, depleted, unfulfilled? Here are a couple of examples:

1.   You start a new job. It is your dream job, one that is motivating and inspiring for you, and you want to make a great impression – you find yourself working really hard, putting in extra hours, going the extra mile with your projects, providing input at every meeting.

2.   You start a new relationship. The passion is high and you are feeling that this could be the one.  You want to spend every spare second with this new person in your life – lots of sex, intimacy, feelings that make your body shiver.

After a couple of months in both of these situations you find you are exhausted. You need some time out. Your energy levels are low, you feel tired, maybe you have a cold or some other niggling illness. You may be starting to feel a little resentful because you are working so hard to give the other person (or organization) what they want (or what you think it is they want!). What is going on here?

Why, when we start out on a new path we believe is so important to us, do we end up becoming exhausted?

There have been so many times in my life where I have gone in to something new and wanted to give it my all. It is the nature of being an achiever. I didn’t want to fail. I didn’t want to let anyone else down. I wanted to give it all I had. It is the same in relationships – I wanted to give everything I had to this person. After all, they decided I am worthy of love, so I wanted to show them that I definitely am!

A-ha! There it is. Someone else recognized my worthiness, and I set about trying to prove that worthiness to them.

It was important to me that I maintain a positive view in their eyes, so I have to keep trying to better myself for them; whether it is in a relationship, or at work.

Is this not a recipe for disaster? I am relying on someone else’s opinion of whether I am worthy of succeeding in my life! If I need constant approval from others at work to confirm I am doing a good job, what happens when the job is no longer there? If I need constant affection from a partner to know that I am worthy of love, what happens when that relationship fades?

If a successful outcome for me is based upon an expectation of the actions of others, how will I ever truly be successful?

See, when you are going to work every day and wanting someone else to approve of your work, you are placing an expectation on them. You are saying, “it is not simply enough that I think I am awesome at what I do, I need you to say so too”. Of course, you want to do the best job you can, but does their approval of your work have to be the primary driving factor? How many actors, when winning the Oscar, say it wasn’t about the awards? Think of something you have done in your life that you still feel inspired by. Did you do it because you wanted someone else to approve of you? Or did you do it for a deeper reason?

By believing your relationship will fade simply because you slow down on the sex, or you tell your partner you need some time out for you, you are placing an unfair expectation on them, and trying to control the outcome, including their reaction to you. Is that possible? Nope.

You can control three things in your life:  Your Thoughts, Your Words, and Your Actions

That’s it. You can’t control the thoughts, words or actions of anyone else. You also have no control over the outcome. You can only control how you contribute to that outcome – and there are many ways you can do that!

Start by becoming aware of your thoughts, your words and your actions.

Let go of trying to control things that are out of your control, and place your intention on these three things.

It is essential to embrace this aspect of you so you can stop trying to please everyone else around you at your own expense. Start nurturing the one person who is most worthy of it. That person is You!

You have CREATED everything in your life up to this point. You have the power to change what you don’t like and re-CREATE a masterpiece that truly reflects your deepest desires.

Your Desires CAN Become Your Destiny

Love, Kirsty

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