‘How Do You Give Without Expectation?’ by Contributing Editor: Kirsty Greenshields


What is it that stops us from giving of ourselves wholeheartedly, unconditionally and without expectation? In this past week I had a revelation about my ability to give unconditionally and in truth, that I want to share.

As you may know, if you have read my posts or visited my website, I am writing a book with the working title, “Women, Money and Intimacy”. This book has been in the making for two years, and I have found myself procrastinating to the highest level in all matters of its production!

Last week, I failed to submit my manuscript into a contest to win a publishing contract – a goal I was determined to meet. After my initial disappointment with myself, I had an insight into my behaviour, which provided me with a great deal of freedom. I believe the insight is relevant to all of us.

In my writing I talk about opening yourself to receive, and the extent to which you can enhance or prevent the flow of abundance in your life.

Two of the greatest measures of this flow in your life are money and love.

Both of these measures are related to your relationship with power – let me explain. Culturally, we have come to believe money is a measure of external power and, therefore the more we have the more we can influence our external world. Naturally then, if you don’t have a lot, you may believe that your ability to yield power in the external world is poor (excuse the pun). Added to this, in many occupations, women continue to struggle for equality in remuneration.

In a similar vein, culturally, we as women have been through huge cycles of sexual oppression (yes, this is not just a problem in the third world). It could be argued that sexual oppression is a cultural imprint. You may agree or disagree with me on this matter – it is simply my opinion according to my own experience, and of my historical understanding.

It has been a ‘natural’ state for women to feel ‘less than’, and to feel that we do not deserve to be wealthy, or in a loving, mutually unconditional relationship.

It has been historical practice to knock a woman for exercising too much creativity or power (and not just by men, but women do it to each other – you only have to watch the television, or look at the myriad of women’s magazines to understand what I am talking about). Have you ever criticised, or felt jealous of, another woman?

I know I have, which is why it has been so scary for me to write this book. The fear that rears its ugly head is “What will others think of me if my life appears too rich in love or money?” I have been afraid of sharing myself wholeheartedly, and giving everything I have, for fear of being criticised or judged.

That will leave me with a feeling of powerlessness.

I realised that I am afraid to speak the whole truth, from the depths of my open heart, because of how it will be perceived by others – and therefore how I will then be treated by them (or how I believe I will lose my power)! When the truth is that, every time you show unconditional, pure love, it inspires others. Because, when it comes down to it, love is all there is.

An Energetic Perspective

All these feelings of oppression have taken a toll on our health, and the energy of our sacral chakra – the chakra related to ‘relationships’, ‘creativity’ and personal power (it is the second chakra, the orange one).

If you have shut down aspects of your sacral chakra (and you are definitely not alone on that one!), you will experience feelings of vulnerability and powerlessness with sexuality, financial abundance and relationships.

On a physical level you may suffer from lower back pain, menstrual pain, irregular menstrual cycle and lethargy.

If you begin to operate from a heart space and your sacral chakra is unhealthy, you will quite often sabotage yourself out of fear.

For example, you may enjoy giving, but you are not completely detached from the outcome – you expect something in return, or you are unsure about how it will look / feel to others. The result is usually in the ‘receiving’, and the flow isn’t smooth or ‘natural’.

Changing this pattern begins with an awareness. You can start to change it simply by bringing your attention to it in the moment, and choosing to act in a different way. Ask yourself “Is this the complete truth?” If it is not, how can it be more truthful?

The more you share of yourself unconditionally, and wholeheartedly, the more you inspire others to do the same. Each and every time you do this, in the simplest of ways, your courage will grow and you will notice changes in your world.

Simply because you are giving a little more of you each day!

With Love,




4 Responses to “‘How Do You Give Without Expectation?’ by Contributing Editor: Kirsty Greenshields”

  1. Gwyneth
    October 23, 2012 at 1:45 am #

    Kirsty, thank you.
    Pennies dropping like rain…
    Can’t wait to read your book and be proud of your success 🙂

    • Kirsty Greenshields
      November 4, 2012 at 7:02 pm #

      I love it when pennies drop like rain Gwyneth! Thank you for receiving :-). I look forward to sharing my book with you. Love, Kirsty

  2. Mecca
    October 25, 2012 at 8:30 pm #

    Beautiful…Beautiful! Thank you for this wisdom and reminder! I am going to work on this.

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